The Time Machine Funny Funny Jokes
- Sign In
- Join
Time Travel discussion
Some days just go too slowly, so I thought it might be nice to have a time travel joke thread which might bring a smile or two!In cygnet and in health.
Marty Mcfly and the Doc were discussing the arrow of time and decided to put a theory to the test with a bow and arrow.
Marty takes aim, pulls the string and launches the arrow. It flies through the air at precisely 88 mph leaving a trail of fire in its wake before vanishing. At first there is silence then Marty and the Doc look at each other as a beautiful song permeates their very sense of being. Suddenly, it stops, and a bird suffering severe burns and a hole in its left wing falls from the sky. Dead.
"Hey Doc I thought phoenixes were meant to rise from the ashes not become them!" says Marty.
"Marty that's a swan! He must have got caught in the ionic instability in the plasma trail. His future has come to an untimely and abrupt end. Unless we can restore the natural balance the whole space time continuum will cease to exist!"
A few moments later there is a whooshing noise. Douglas Adams' deadline passes overhead, and then the arrow rematerialises and heads towards the direction of Marty and the Doc, only now it's being carried in the beak of a young cygnet.
The cygnet spins and releases the glowing arrow from which colourful sparks are radiating. The arrow moves upwards, and scribes a dazzling message in the sky which reads "Thanks for the trip down memory lane!". The arrow then completes a double loop-the-loop and hits the target straight in the bullseye.
"Great shot!" says the Doc.
Mod Actually, the moderators discussed starting this thread and never followed though. Bad moderators.
Anyhow, so long, and thanks for all the fish.
"great scot!" catchphrase from the doc. in back to the future. but yeah....humour has never been my strong point! 
Another, please. 
Amy wrote: "I don't get it, but that's okay. Actually, the moderators discussed starting this thread and never followed though. Bad moderators.
Anyhow, so long, and thanks for all the fish."
Sorry for the inconvenience.
Mod I dont actually know any time travel jokes so will also make up my own...so here goes..oh rather, here blows!
An old man walks out of a clocksmith shop hugging a grandfather clock that was nearly as tall as he was. As he wobbles down the street, struggling to keep a grip on the clock, he looses his footing and falls backwards with the clock falling onto his stomach, winding him on impact. A few seconds later a passerby rushes up to him looking extremely concerned.
"oh dear oh dear" says the passerby exasperatedly, who looks around as if looking for others to give a hand and mutters to himself:
"I hope I am not late, I wont forgive myself if I am"
then turning to the old man he says:
"I dont suppose you have the time on you, sir?"
OK, Ill make a quick exit from here...that didnt even have time travel! Sorry! My excuse is that originally, it DID have time travel as the clock fell on him, I had him apparently transported in time but the joke became too long, so the pun at the end was lost. So I ended up editing out the travel altogether, lol. Btw, The grandfather clock popped into my head because I'm doing a buddy read on Tom's Midnight Garden if you care to join in :)
Well, it made me giggle anyway. Thank you. Me too! :) 
Mod Who is it?
A Time Traveler
A Time Traveler who?
Knock Knock
Mod Mod 
Mod 
A cute limerick I saw on the Internet: There once was a lady named Bright
Who traveled much faster than light
She departed one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night
Wonderful, all, thank you! 
Like that the opening joke combines Back to the Future with Douglas Adams and my favorite quote from him (as indicated by the quotes I have in my profile) Mod 
Oh dear! Mod It's the year 2130. A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, and a brawl ensues. The bartender has had enough. "Alright, kiddos, break it up or you're outta here. What's this all about?"
The brawlsters all look up at once. All 3 are identical with identical bruises and cuts on their faces.
They all point at each other and say in unison, "He won't buy me a drink."
The bartender shakes his head, points to a sign above his head, and points at the door. The sign reads, "No Time Travelers. This Means You, and You, and You."
"Come on guys," says one of the Time Travelers. "Let's go bum a drink off of me in a different bar next week."
Mod There once was a lady named Bright
Who traveled much faster than light
She departed one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night"
Actually, there was a second verse to that lyric (which I recall Hawkings and Prof Kaku quoted) that was equally funny but less known, written in the 1920s by a scientist/poet named Arthur Henry Reginald:
Full version:
There was a young lady named Bright
Who could travel far faster than light;
She set off one day,
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.
To her friends, said the Bright one, in chatter;
"I have learned something new about matter.
My speed was so great
Much increased was my weight,
Yet I failed to become any fatter!"
Mod It's the year 2130. A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, and a brawl ensues. The bartender has had enough. "Alright, kiddos, break it up or you're outta here. What..."
Love the scenario, Amy! Still working out the pun...I'll get there, my brain is getting scrambled at this late hour :)
Hi, all. Good thread indeed! These are not actual time-travel jokes but some of them sound quite funny anyway:Time Travel... the Fun Side
Mod 
Nathan wrote: "" A very good one indeed! Congratulations!
The Past, the Present & the Future go into a bar.They were all tense.
Howard wrote: "The Past, the Present & the Future go into a bar.They were all tense."
The barman didn't know if anyone else was going to turn up.
"Are you all here?" he asks.
"No, we're not all present."
Whoa, terrific! 
Love love love! oh! (I had to read that twice.) 
Lincoln wrote: "" Your picketer sign is hilarious!
♥,
Cat at Galaxy Press
Hi, guys. My name is Mike Stern. I'm new to the group and still trying to figure out Goodreads, so if I do something wrong, please let me know. You all seem to know each other pretty well. Hope I'm not intruding. I am a writer, and author of STORM PORTAL, which is a time-travel story. Anyway, for now, best wishes for a wonderful holiday season. PS-I like your collective sense of humor. I'm beside myself. Mod Your picketer sign is hilarious!
♥,
Cat at Galaxy Press"
Thanks Cat at Galaxy Press, however the credit should go to 
Paul Levinson he posted it elsewhere a long time ago...but we are dealing with time travel so time frame is irreverent right?
Mod Welcome to goodreads Michael...This here is the comedy thread. Once you figure out the structure of goodreads its not to difficult to peruse topics and read other threads and to post comments and even create your own threads.
Feel free to introduce yourself in the new member thread here:
https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...
Relax...don't worry about doing anything wrong...as long as your not rude, you will fit right in! Welcome!
The Temporal Jester
Lincoln
Lincoln wrote: "Galaxy Press wrote: "Lincoln wrote: ""Your picketer sign is hilarious!
♥,
Cat at Galaxy Press"
Thanks Cat at Galaxy Press, however the credit should go to he posted it elsewhere a long time ago...but we are dealing with time travel so time frame is irreverent right?
Thanks, Lincoln - always pleased to accept credit, especially when it comes with my mug shot :)
Paul wrote: "Thanks, Lincoln - always pleased to accept credit, especially when it comes with my mug shot :) " If we're talking mug shots, I got this one from my office a couple of weeks back!
http://www.time2timetravel.com/time-t...
Paul wrote: "Paul wrote: "Thanks, Lincoln - always pleased to accept credit, especially when it comes with my mug shot :) "If we're talking mug shots, I got this one from my office a couple of weeks back!
ht..."
That is a good one!
Mod "The good thing about lending someone your time machine is that you basically get it back immediately"
If time travel ever gets invented, we should have known about it by now. :^) Mod 
When you put instant coffee in a microwave oven, do you go back in time? Steven Wright add: link cover
Welcome back. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account.
brandtlihaboulady.blogspot.com
Source: https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/2088036-time-travel-jokes
0 Response to "The Time Machine Funny Funny Jokes"
Post a Comment